I can see myself giving up, giving into temptation. I feel like nothing seems to be coming off even when I'm trying. I feel like if I slip up even the slightest bit the weight comes back on, I can even be following weight watchers to the T and if I use all or even half of my bonus points I gain 2 pounds back. I'm frustrated. This effin sucks. I know at this point I'm not giving it my all and that's why it's not working, I guess I'm in denial but with the gaining weight when I'm still following weight watchers, it's true. It really makes me angry that Andrew can eat like a freaking pig and not gain a pound yet I am working so damn hard to lose this weight and one tiny slip up and I am back where I was a week ago and I gain back some of the weight I just lost. Will I always be fat? Will I always be a failure? I am really feeling down on myself because of this big slip up because of the day of Blake's birthday party Sunday. I can't give up this easily, if I don't change my weight I will have health problems and I've got to be here for my kids. Today I'm praying for hope, motivation and strength to press on in this journey.
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